Salted Whiskey
by The Night Ninja
Summary: When everything gose wrong in Pony's life after the deaths of Dally and Johnny, he turns to alcohol too numb the pain but soon not even that helps. With soda off to war things have only gotten worse for pony. Warning Character death, but not a suicide fic


**for freakfanfiction. I don't own the outsiders.**

The bulb in the bathroom at Buck's had been out longer than anyone could remember so the small bathroom was only lit dimly by the light coming from the cracks in the door. No one used the bathroom unless they wanted to drink or do drugs in private and the toilets hadn't been cleaned in years. It was in this dim and disgusting Place that Ponyboy curtis was drinking a large bottle of whiskey that he had swiped from, he was too drunk to remember. All he knew was the burn of the whiskey and the tears falling from his face. Soda had been drafted, Steve and Two-Bit blamed Ponyboy for the deaths of Johnny and Dally, and Darry. Well Darry had a new girlfriend who hated Pony so Pony never stayed at home anymore, and when he did go home he was too drunk to feel the abuse from Donna's fists. Soon the bottle was empty and Pony was numb to everything, getting up and walking out of the bar he started the difficult walk back to the house that no longer felt like home. He stumbled passed the lot, stopping at the park and the fountain. He clouded mind still focussed on the reason for all his suffering. Guilt was eating away at him, first Johnny and Dally were dead and now Soda was MIA, Steve blamed Pony for both of these and now Pony had begun to blame himself too. He somehow made it home around one in the morning.

"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN" screamed Darry, pony just looked at his big brother, numb and trapped in his own head. The next morning Pony was hungover again but didn't care, the pain in his heart hurt more than the pain in his head.

"Hey, freeloader, you need to leave and never come back" came the angry manipulative voice of Donna followed by her fists.

"Why" he asked through the pain

" because there's no more room in this house for you, Darry loves me more than you and we need your room for the new baby" she hissed angrily, this was it, her excuse to get him out of all their lives. Pony consoled himself with the thought that Darry would be overjoyed at being a dad and getting his drunk of a brother out of the house for good. Pony nodded and went to go pack his things.

"oh no you don't, get out of here, all that stuff is going into storage for the baby, you don't get any of it accept those pictures of those dead hoodlums" shouted Donna. Pony fought back tears, not knowing if it was from the physical or emotional pain he was feeling. He grabbed the pictures of Johnny and Dally and stuffed them in the duffle bag. They were now all he had, coupled with the clothes on his back, well that and his trophies and ribbons from track. He knew that he'd never be able to come home, his brother hated him, Soda was gone, and his so called friends wanted nothing to do with him. He ran to Bucks, once again intending to drown himself in cheap whiskey. For six weeks he either drank himself till he blacked out on the bar stool or slept in the lot. When two bit told him to never go to the lot again He passed out in the woods next to the overpass. He stole whiskey from liquor stores and was now a wanted man again after being framed for yet another dead Soc. His could no longer tell the difference between when he was drunk and when he was sober, he couldn't remember what it felt like to be loved by his family or have clean clothes. Instead of fending off Socs he used a broken whiskey bottle to ward off wolves. Nights, both drunk and sober were spent crying over the pictures in his bag. He could barely remember Johnny's small yet genuine smile or Dally's smirk. He could remember his first true date with Johnny and the warm hugs hed get everyday. He threw the only picture he had of all seven of them at a tree before tearing out all the faces of the people who hated him, including his own, he hated himself. Winter was coming and pony no longer carried if he froze to death, he'd see Johnny,Dally, Soda, and his parents again. He shivered, the morning frost had collected on his t shirt causing him to feel cold. He grabbed his last bottle of whiskey and took a swig trying to feel the warmth it normally made him feel. But still he was cold. Alone,cold, and feeling worthless.

"it's all my fault" he sobbed clutch a picture of Johnny close to him

"I'm so so sorry Johnny" he cried he had become very sick, he knew he was dying and didn't have much time left, he was malnourished, freezing and could feel his liver giving out on him. He didn't notice the truck constantly circling the area, the driver looking out the window, searching desperately for someone. Sodapop had come home from to find Darry and Donna cooing over their newborn son but Soda knew something was off, all the picture in the house had been changed, Pony's face taped over with a piece of Paper.

"Darry, where is Pony?" Soda had asked, seeing his brothers room turned into a nursery, no sign that a third brother had ever lived there. Darry had paled, he had forgotten about Pony completely.

"I don't know Soda" Darry told him. This resulted in a fight between a soldier who wanted his little brother and the man who didn't seem to care if his baby brother was dead or alive. Soda had stormed out, he had to find Pony, he had to bring him home, or at least somewhere safe. Soda's eyes caught some movement on the side of the highway, slightly under the overpass. He got out of his truck and ran over, this was the last place pony had been spotted according to some locals.

"Ponyboy" called Soda running into the dense trees. He came across what looked like a small campsite with a bed of leaves and a duffle bag acting as a pillow. A small dirty heap lay on this pile, clutching a picture.

"Ponyboy?" asked Soda softly. The boy looked up to see his lost brother standing next to him

"soda?" asked Pony tentatively. Soda grabbed his little brother into a hug. Pony relaxed in his big brother's arms feeling loved for the first time in six long years. Soda could tell something was very very wrong with pony, he was skinny, filthy and his skin felt like ice.

"a-at least I got to See you one last time" said Pony weakly, closing his eyes, he felt safe again, he felt loved, he could die in peace now, and not be alone. Soda realized his little brother was dying, he had seen enough death to know the signs but he never wanted it to happen to his precious baby brother. He also knew there was nothing he could do except hold pony close and beat Darry, Two-bit and Steve's faces in later.

"what happened to you baby?" Soda asked softly, trying to keep pony comfortable.

"everything is my fault, I guess they finally realized it and no longer gave a shit about me, besides Darry is happy with Donna,he's got a family now, he doesn't need a drunk of a little brother screwing up his life anymore" said Pony quietly.

"Oh pony, Johnny and Dally were not your fault, it was the Socs honey" soothed soda. He carried his dying brother to the truck and turned on the heat, he wanted pony to feel warm and loved, he also wanted to get Pony to the hospital but knew his little brother wouldn't make it.

"rest baby, you need to be with Johnny and Dally now, them and mom and dad will take good care of you" soothed Soda running his hand through his little brothers filthy hair, tears running down his face.

"I love you soda" coughed pony, resting his head on Soda's chest

" I love you too pony, and I promise, I'll make sure things are set straight" said Soda. Pony gave his big brother a small smile, his first smile in six years, before darkness overtook him. And all the pain was gone.


End file.
